Joshua 1:9

I recently finished a book called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldrege, and girls, if you haven't read this book, you need to! It's about women's relationship with God, and how women have one inherent question instilled in them at birth, that we spend our whole lives trying to get answered. The question is "Am I captivating?" (hence the book's title). As little girls we twirl around, or sing to anyone who'll listen, as I did, or show off in some other way, all asking for validation of this question. It is why we, as women, want to feel like Cinderella to someone.

This book could not have entered my life at a more poignant time (as this stuff always works out that way) because after some bumps on the road, including a breakup. I felt lost, that I was missing those who once validated my question, so to speak. I was angry and sad, and honestly pissed at God for putting these hard times in my path, but a friend of mine reminded and reassured me that everything was according to His plan, that there would be a purpose for this. He urged me not to turn away from God, but turn to Him, and read Joshua 1:9:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Little by little I've feel like I'm beginning to understand the reason for my "bumps." He took away my distractions from Him, and left me with the only things that matter, my family and His love. Now, my validation comes from being a child of God. He's answered my question.

The First One

I have to say I was a little apprehensive about whether or not I'd have much to say. I wanted my first post to be a profound and triumphant beginning to what will surely be an unbelievable session with Circles. I was afraid to disappoint any expectant readers. This English major has nothing to write!!! How backwards is that??

Sooooo.....I prayed about it, and I realized that my fears in and of themselves were superficial, and quite frankly stupid. That in my "lack of profound Biblical insight," I was attempting to fit into a mold or template, that I wanted my post to fit into how a faith-based post SHOULD be. Just like how I thought my journey with God SHOULD be.

Here's the catch though... the word "SHOULD" (here's my English major peeking through) doesn't have a place here. There is no true template for how this post should look, just like there is not true template for how prayer is supposed to be conducted, or how worship songs have to be sung. This got me thinking, there is not true template for how your relationship with God is supposed to be either. Each and every relationship with God is different. The relationship that He pursues with one person is going to be different from the relationship He pursues with you, and with me.

To say this was an epiphany might be stretching it, and I understand that for many this is elementary knowledge, but this realization released me to write exactly how I wanted to. Hope I didn't disappoint...