In the movie Evan Almighty, God (expertly played by Mr. Morgan Freeman) says to Evan, "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does He give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does He give them opportunities to love each other?"

I absolutely LOVE this quote, because it presents the questions (and answers) that I personally struggle with most. Often I feel like the bratty bored child in the back seat of this journey of life screaming at my Father, "Are we there yet?!!" wishing to get to my destination, for my journey's purpose to be revealed. But it's about having PATIENCE with God and the understanding that we usually aren't given what we ask for, but we're always given the opportunities for exactly what we need. I just hope I'm ready...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Jekyll and/or Hyde

How do we resolve two prominent aspects of our personalities, when one seems to conflict with the kind of life the Lord has laid out for us? This week I've definitely felt the pull of my conflicting persona, I'll say. What I'm talking about is not some personality disorder, but a natural conflict of humane desires and interests which conflict with God's sanctioned behavior. I've realized that I have two sides to myself. One is sweet, shy, loving, practical, cautious and enjoys spending a night curled up at home with a movie. The other is loud, sarcastic, confident, spontaneous and prefers to go out to an awesome rock concert. The difficulty I'm finding is that the second persona is so much fun and uninhibited, but it can get and has gotten me into trouble. The quieter one is much safer, but also way boring. I know that this quieter one is the more conventionally Christian of the two personas, but my issue lies in that both are parts of me, parts of who God made me to be as a woman. I'm finding difficulty keeping my louder persona in my new life with God. I don't want to lose that me, but I want it to fit better.

Also, I've decided to put a song at the end of each of my posts that reflects where I'm at, or just what I've been listening to... drum roll please...

Barton Hollow by The Civil Wars
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    i love this. and getting to know you. you're an amazing girl amanda

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  2. Dannah Bradel ChristensenOctober 20, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    i resound with so much of what you just wrote. there is a balance that God is and will continue to work out in you life. he made you special with a unique set of likes and dislikes. don't neglect that-live in it and honor him in it. i'd love to talk with you more about it. thanks so much for sharing with us!

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