In the movie Evan Almighty, God (expertly played by Mr. Morgan Freeman) says to Evan, "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does He give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does He give them opportunities to love each other?"

I absolutely LOVE this quote, because it presents the questions (and answers) that I personally struggle with most. Often I feel like the bratty bored child in the back seat of this journey of life screaming at my Father, "Are we there yet?!!" wishing to get to my destination, for my journey's purpose to be revealed. But it's about having PATIENCE with God and the understanding that we usually aren't given what we ask for, but we're always given the opportunities for exactly what we need. I just hope I'm ready...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

"Alright, Lord, I get it...I get it. It's all yours."

I've been trying to find a quote which encapsulates fallen humanity, but have been unsuccessful. I was hoping to find an eloquent way to say that because of our idols, our spiritual battles, and our own free will, we humans are extremely foolish. I know that I need to be smacked around a bit by God before I get the hint. I tend to fall on my face two or three or nine or ten times before I realize what I'd been staring at all along and listen to the Lord.

There are few things that interfere and obscure my relationship with the Lord like my idols, and I have a nasty habit of listening to my own stupid interpretations of meaning in them. Despite my intense love of the Lord, and my joy in living the life He planned for me, I messed up. Yet again, I fell and bruised myself on the my distractions, and again, He picked me up, brushed me off and asked, "Are you finally ready to do things my way?"

I have never in my life felt conviction in a physical way like I did then, my face flushed, red hot, and my anxiety went through the roof. This was no longer a small loving nudge in the right direction toward Him. This was a full-on scolding, complete with timeout and punishment. God was not happy with me and He wasn't being quiet about it. His aforementioned question wasn't really a question, but a strong expression of control. He has this, and I have got to take a backseat. "Alright, Lord, I get it...I get it. It's all yours."

I've never felt so taken care of, than in that moment of complete and total surrender. Not only was He extremely unhappy with me, but even then in that anger, He loved me enough to take everything in my life and work it out for me. I can relinquish control and things will turn out better, and for a worrier like me that's enormous. Even in the last week, I have a renewed focus. My relationship idol is no longer in the picture, it's truly gone. The Lord has filled me with my long-lost creativity and a desire for experience in everything. I've never written so much as in the last week. I'm blown away because the calm that I felt wash over my heart, was one that I've never experienced before. Thankfully a week later, it's still there. I'm still calm and content, and ardently expectant of the awesome and shattering next moves He'll make in my life, in my heart. I'm so blessed to have a Father like Him.

Catch the Wind by Donovan

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1 comment:

  1. bobNovember 15, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    you go glen coco!! giving God total control over your life can be one of the most difficult things, but at the same time soo awesome and rewarding!

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